living with hiv

after a diagnosis

Shock, fear, anger, numbness and even relief are all normal reactions. There's no right way to feel, and you don't have to sort everything out this week.

• Treatment works. Health bodies now recommend starting HIV treatment as soon as possible after diagnosis, often the same day or soon after. People who take it as prescribed and keep an undetectable viral load can live long and healthy lives.
• You'll have regular check-ups to track your viral load and general health. Over time these usually get less frequent.
• Tell someone you trust, if and when you're ready. A friend, a peer support worker or a counsellor can help you carry it.
• Look after your mind too. Our shame & mental health page may help if old feelings come up.

u=u

Undetectable = Untransmittable. In the words of the Prevention Access Campaign, which launched U=U in 2016, a person living with HIV who is on treatment and has an undetectable viral load cannot sexually transmit HIV.

• Reaching undetectable usually takes some months on treatment, and U=U applies once it has stayed undetectable, usually for six months, as confirmed by your clinic. Your clinic confirms it with blood tests and keeps checking.
• U=U is about sex. It doesn't cover sharing needles or other injecting equipment, and it doesn't protect against other STIs.
• Our sexual health page explains U=U in more detail.

For many people, U=U changes how they feel about sex, dating and themselves.

finding care

• Ask the clinic that diagnosed you to refer you to HIV care. Many sexual health clinics provide it directly.
• Look for a national HIV service. Many countries have a government site or HIV charity that lists clinics. In the US, for example, the HIV.gov locator finds HIV care and treatment near you by ZIP code. The support list below has more by region.
• Choose people you feel comfortable with. You'll see your HIV team for years. It's fine to ask for a different doctor, or to look for an LGBTQIA+-friendly one through our kink-aware professionals page.
• Tell your clinic about everything you take, including other prescriptions, supplements and party drugs. Some interact with HIV medicines.
• Keep up with routine health, like vaccines, STI testing and other check-ups, as your clinic advises.

stigma & serosorting

HIV stigma is still real, including inside gay and kink spaces. Profiles that say "clean only", or people who back away when you mention your status, can sting. That reflects outdated fear, not your worth.

disclosure & the law

Who you tell, and when, is personal. Some people say it on their profile, some tell partners before play, and some share only with people close to them. You can change your approach over time.

• Practise what you'll say. A short, calm line works well: "I'm living with HIV, I'm on treatment and I'm undetectable, so I can't pass it on through sex."
• Pick a safe moment, and somewhere you can leave if it goes badly.
• Their reaction is about them. Some people need time to learn. You don't owe anyone a lecture.

dating & kink while positive

• Negotiate like anyone else. Talk about limits, protection and STI testing before you play. Our negotiation & limits checklist covers it.
• Blood and broken skin need extra care in any scene. Use gloves, keep gear that breaks skin to one person, and clean or replace it between partners. See playing safer.
• Other STIs still count. Regular testing, condoms and DoxyPEP where offered all help, whatever your status.
• Party drugs can interact with some HIV medicines and make doses easy to miss. Ask your clinic or pharmacist, and see our drug support lines.
• You deserve good partners. Plenty of people, positive and negative, understand U=U and won't blink.

support

• GNP+The Global Network of People Living with HIV, run by people living with HIV. It pushes for better access to treatment, care and support worldwide.
• MPact Global ActionWorks on health and rights for gay, bi and queer men, including HIV, with community-led partners in dozens of countries.
• UNAIDSThe UN programme on HIV and AIDS, with global data, reports and news.
• aidsmapClear news and guides on HIV treatment and research.
• The Well ProjectInformation and community for women and girls living with HIV, including trans women, with a guide for people who just tested positive.
• HIV Justice NetworkTracks HIV criminalisation laws and cases around the world.

europe

• European AIDS Treatment GroupA patient-led network for people living with HIV across Europe and Central Asia, working on treatment, prevention and quality of life.
• Terrence Higgins Trust (UK)A UK HIV and sexual health charity with support for newly diagnosed people, groups, and the THT Direct helpline.

asia & the pacific

• APN+The Asia Pacific Network of People Living with HIV/AIDS, a peer-led network with members in 26 countries.

north america

• HIV.gov (US)The US government's HIV information site, with a locator for testing, care and treatment.
• CATIE (Canada)Canada's source for HIV and hepatitis C information, in English and French.

oceania

• NAPWHA (Australia)The National Association of People with HIV Australia, with treatment information, peer navigation and the Positive Living magazine.

africa & the middle east

Many countries in these regions criminalise same-sex relations or target LGBTQ+ groups, so we don't list local groups there. GNP+ and MPact, listed above, work with partners in Africa. ILGA World tracks the law in each country. If you're in danger, Rainbow Railroad helps LGBTQI+ people get to safety. Our support page lists crisis lines in 110 countries.

More HIV services by country are on our support page.