Both my partner and I enjoy wax play. Personally, there is something sensual about the contrast of the dark wax on their pale skin, and the hot wax in our usually cold play space makes for a sensory experience they enjoy. Here, I am going to share my experience and best practices regarding wax play.

What is Wax Play?

Wax play is exactly what it sounds like; playing with hot wax, usually from a burning candle or melted in a container. It is a form of temperature play, a form of BDSM sensual play where objects and substances are used to manipulate/stimulate the body’s neuroreceptors for heat and cold for sensual effect. Blindfolds are often used to intensify the effects, and bondage can also amplify the experience.

Wax play can be one of the most tantalizing types of play on the skin that can produce marvelous, stimulating pleasures. But it can also be the cause for an extreme burn if applied improperly. Because of the dangers that are inherent to burning temperatures, some may categorize wax play as “edge play”, though using the right wax, the right technique, and having a basic knowledge enables safe play.

As with any play:

• SSC: Safe, Sane, Consensual. Ensure both parties understand the safety requirements, know each other's limits, and fully consent to the act.
• RACK: Risk Aware Consensual Kink. Ensure both parties understand the risks and potential harms associated with the act.
• PRICK: Personal Risk Informed Consensual Kink:  Make sure each party understands the personal risks associated with the act.

Safety

Safety must always be the primary focus when dealing with unpredictable mediums, such as hot wax. Different types of candles and different heating element temperatures produce different temperatures of wax that can range from warm and soothing to dangerously hot, burning and damaging wax. There is significant difference between individuals’ tolerance for heat, which can vary depending on exactly where the wax is applied.

Some things to consider:

• • Wax can splatter into the eyes.
  • Wax that is too hot can cause serious burns. It may pool and concentrate heat on the skin.
  • Wax heated in any sort of pot must be stirred vigorously and regularly or there can be dangerous temperature variations.
  • Some people may be allergic to perfumes and dyes.
  • With a burning candle, there is always risk of fire.
  • Temperature can be varied greatly based on the height from which you drip, drop, or pour the wax. Check temperature by dropping some on yourself, using the back of your hand and your inner forearm. Keeping the candle 18 inches from the skin is considered a safe distance.
  • Some fetish garments will melt or burn, sticking to the skin and causing serious burns. Anything with nylon, vinyl, PVC, patent leather, or other synthetic fabrics should be considered and tested first.

Choosing Wax

This is one of the rare circumstances with fetish gear or play materials where cheaper is likely better!  Low cost, paraffin candles are safer and easier to use than the more expensive candles. I recommend unscented paraffin candles in a colour that is a sharp contrast to your sub's skin, so you can easily see it.

• • Palm Wax -  A hard, low temperature  (16°C - 38°C /60°F - 100°F) plant-based wax  that creates unique crystalline or feathered patterns and holds its shape well. Ideal for wax play, especially for beginners.
  • Paraffin – the most common type of candle, inexpensive, burns at low temperatures (45°C - 65°C / 115°F - 145°F) and therefore recommended as best for wax play.
  • Soy – becoming popular, more expensive, burns clean at a low temperature (48°C - 66°C  / 120°F - 150°F) and therefore recommended for wax play, though higher temperatures then paraffin, so not an ideal starter wax.  Soy allergies should be considered.
  • Bayberry – the rarest and most expensive of the waxes, it is also known as “myrtle wax”. Although it has an extremely low melt point of 46°C  - 71°C / 116°F - 160°F,  it is an excessively hard wax, and difficult to clean.
  • Beeswax – less common, burns at a very high temperature (62°C - 66°C / 142°F - 150°F) and therefore not recommended for wax play.
  • Coconut Wax - A sustainable, slow-burning, high temperature wax  (82°C - 95°C  / 180°F - 200°F) that holds fragrance exceptionally well. Because of the high temperature which this burns, it is NOT ideal for wax play, first or second degree burns can occur. 
  • Gel Wax - A transparent, polymer-mineral oil blend that allows for embedded decorative objects and a very long burn time, It burns too hot for wax play, (82°C - 95°C  / 180°F - 200°F). Dangerous; Not recommended.
  • Wax Blends -  because most candles do not fully disclose the ratio of wax types blended, the burning properties and temperatures of these candles are hard to predict. For this reason, it is recommended you avoid them.

If you are using candles and are not sure of the wax type or melting point, cut a piece off and rub it in your hands. If, after a little bit, it becomes like putty, it is a low temperature candle and safer. If it stays hard, it is high temperature and not safe. Another indicator is how long they burn during normal use. Religious candles are some of the lowest temperature candles available. They are normally about 51°C / 124°F melting point.

Colour

Dye coloured candles hold a slightly higher temperature of only 1°- 3° and is not a problem for use in wax play. Because pigment colour can separate once melted, it will also affect the temperature of the melted wax by 3°or 4°. The pigment itself can hold much higher temperatures once separated and can cause burns. It makes good practice to use pure paraffin as the first coating on the skin. An easy way to add colour to plain wax is to add a crayon to the wax pot. There is a chance that the dye colour may stain skin.

Scent

Scents added to wax will only have a temperature burn difference of 1°- 2° and is not considered to significantly affect application techniques. Be aware that some people are allergic or sensitive to certain fragrances; so ask ahead of time to prevent mishaps.

Candle Types

• • Taper – They are tapered at the top and wider at the bottom allowing for even burning. Because the wax is coming directly from the flame, no pooling is allowed to form (cooling), thus producing the highest temperature of all the candles; therefore extreme care should be taken when using them. The melt point can be 60°C / 140°F and higher depending on the wax used: paraffin, beeswax, or bayberry wax.
  • Pillar - They can take any shape and size but always form in an equal diameter. Melted wax is allowed to pool in the surrounding area of the wick, allowing cooling of the wax. Nearest to the wick can be a temperature as high as 120°C / 250°F as it is drawn up into the wick for fuel. As wax moves away from the flame (about 3cm / 1¼”), it pools and the radiant temperature cools to about 60°C / 140°F. From  2cm / 1¼” to 38mm / 1½” away from the flame, the wax can cool to 53°C / 127°F. Moving more than 38mm away from the flame, the wax cools to ambient room temperature. A common problem found is the hot area around the wick starts to sink and the outer rim of wax never gets hot enough to melt causing a tunnel effect. To prevent this from happening, while the candle is still warm after extinguishing, push and turn in the sides using your fingers/thumb to get the outer wax closer to the centre, bring down the column of wax.
  • Voltives – poured into moulds and can be any shape, but size is usually limited to allow it to be placed in votive glass containers or allowed to float in water. Usually paraffin wax is used. The melting point can vary from 45°C - 65°C / 115°F - 145°F. The ease of use makes this the most popular.
  • Tealights – poured into thin metal cups using paraffin wax. Pooling does not occur and therefore the temperature can be 58°C / 136°F or higher. Better used as ambiance to a room rather than for wax play.
  • Wax Bath – an electrical vat or fondue pot containing paraffin wax. A ladle can be used to collect the wax and pour it on the body. Use only vats that have a temperature thermostat, which can be regulated. Stir the wax often. Turn the heat up high to initially melt the wax. Then turn it down and allow a skim coat to form on the top. Stir the bath of wax and adjust thermostat for the correct temperature setting.
  • Dripless – this usually applies to formal taper candlesticks . During the dipping process, a special harder outer layer of wax is applied, which makes a “cup” that holds the melted wax. This prevents the liquid wax to run down the candle sides. These candles are not recommended for wax play because of the high heat content.
  • Drippy - additives are combined with the wax to allow the wax to soften quickly and drip. They have a low melting point and are great for wax play.

Basic Supplies

• • Wax play candles or wax play melts/tarts
  • Lighter
  • Wax scraper / plastic card / flea comb
  • Drop sheets / towels
  • Ice or cold water for immediate cooling
  • Fire blanket or fire extinguisher
  • First aid kit with burn gel, electrolytes, dressings and gauze as a precaution

Preparation

Choose a well-lit, well-ventilated space. Ideally, having running water nearby. You should be able to clearly see your partner's skin, and their reactions.  Eliminate drafts or anything that could affect the candle's flame or make temperature regulation difficult. Remove anything flammable, and anything that may knock over candles, such as pets.  

Your play area, surfaces, and floor should be easy to clean. Covering the area with drop cloths or old sheets is recommended. You can use plastic sheeting or tarps, but these tend to be more flammable, or may melt if they come in contact with fire-- and melted plastic on the skin hurts. 

Ensure the candle is in a weighted base, safe from accidental tipping. If using wax melts/tarts, ensure the container they are in is weighted, has a pour spout that allows a careful, controlled pour, and that the wax is stirred well to ensure a consistent temperature.

Application

Safe temperatures to use when applying wax are below 59°C  / 139°F depending upon preparation within the scene. Less sensitive areas are the back and chest. Proper area lighting is important to be able to see the amount of wax you are distributing. Once the wax is removed, the skin is ultra-stimulated and the slightest touch will have them squirming.

If you are going to use different types of candles, it is best to have a layer of pure paraffin on the skin first as a barrier layer. This will diffuse the heat over a larger area. Give time between drops to allow that wax to cool and the bottom to react to the sensations. Placing a wax drop on top of another drop creates a penetrating deep heat and requires a longer cooling period, so take your time. Apply a steady series of drops and spread the drops out around the entire area. Rotate candles around while dripping so they burn evenly.

Pillar candles’ pool of wax is what is useful for wax play and should be allowed to regenerate as often as needed. To apply, hold the lit candle directly over the body and tilt it to drip the pooled wax while moving it over the body.

Taper candles require much more care while using because they burn at a much higher temperature. The old school thought is to adjust the height of the drop by raising your arm & varying the distance, meant to allow the drop of wax to cool as it falls downward hitting your target. Science shows that the degree of cooling using this method is so negligible that this method is negligible. Besides, dripping wax from those distances causes splashing of wax everywhere; getting onto clothes, hair, face, shoes and surrounding areas. Skip all the mess, build your protective barrier layer of wax first and then have fun sending your bottom into ecstasy.

Votives can be placed directly on your subject if a thick layer of wax is applied beforehand to help insulate the skin from the higher temperatures. Warning: Peel label off bottom of candle first and melt bottom to assure a sturdy placement. As the votive wax melts, the spilling will add to the bottom’s sensation with each breath they take. This may remind the bottom to stay still during this fun play, or not. Imagine your canvas topped with coloured votives slowly spilling wax down the sides of body, chest, and waist. Votives can also be placed in glass containers and allowed to pool and then be poured on the body for a heavenly warm sensation.

Container application is accomplished by tilting the holder enough that the wax pours out of the top. Try not to allow the flame to touch the opposite side of glass, which will produce soot on that area. If this happens, just wipe with towel after is cools. It is important to allow time for the wax to pool, therefore it is recommended to have numerous container candles.

Wax Bath/Vat application is accomplished by using a paintbrush, a ladle, or even your hands. Have a drip plate available to catch extra wax dripping off the brush. To create darker colours apply multiple layers of wax; allow each layer to harden before applying the next. The ladle allows for more flow of wax. For a full hands on play, use your own hands, cupped, to scoop up the wax and spread it onto the skin of your partner. Having your hands sensually exploring, pinching, and rubbing.

• • Safest: Upper and middle back, shoulders
  • More sensitive: Buttocks, breasts, back of legs (expect stronger reactions).
  • High risk: Face, nipples, genitals, anywhere with thin skin or mucous membranes
  • Never: Over broken skin or areas where wax may pool easily, like the naval

Clean Up

Don't blow out candles near your partner. Hot wax can splatter. Have a plan for safely extinguishing everything before you start cleanup. Damp cotton cloths can extinguish and stop any smoke and your fingers from being burned.

Using a wet ice cube to chill the wax on the skin is an easy way to remove wax. It is also a nice double sensation of mediums. To peel the wax off, use a plastic  scraper (like the edge of a credit card), or a fine edge to loosen the edges and then grab it with your fingers and gently pull the wax over itself. A scrubbie will also get off the small bits of wax remaining by gently rubbing it over the skin. To get wax out of hair, use a flea comb. It is not a good idea to use a leather flogger or whip to remove wax – it gets everywhere and also on your expensive toy. Besides, you just gave a pleasurable, relaxing, sensual, erotic, and luxurious play scene. Leave the stingy ouchies for another time.

Clean up is easy if you used plastic to cover any area beforehand. Do not re-use any wax you have taken off of skin. It is contaminated with skin flakes, oils, and dirt. If wax got on your clothing, boil them in a large pot to release the wax from the fabric. Any wax left in your hair will easily come off by showering with a conditioner.

Recognising and Treating Minor Burns

• Cool the area immediately with clean, cool running water. Do not use ice (can cause additional tissue damage)
• Apply burn gel after the area has been cooled with water, if applied too soon it can trap heat and continue the burn.
• If small blisters occur do not pop. Wrap a burn gel soaked gauze over the burn with a light bandage to allow airflow and change the gauze daily
• Seek medical attention for burns larger than a 20-cent piece or showing signs of infection

Final Thoughts

The biggest mistake people make is treating wax play casually because it seems "sensual" compared to other forms of kink play. Burns are burns, whether they are from hot wax or fire play. Respect the risks, prepare properly, and communicate constantly. When in doubt, stop. A disappointed partner heals faster than a burned one.