activity safety
These are some of the most-searched kinks among gay and queer men, and some of the least-explained. Every activity here carries real risk. Knowing the warning signs, and when to stop, is what keeps a hot scene from becoming a trip to A&E.
Harm-reduction information for consenting adults, not medical advice and not encouragement; see our legal policies. Talk to a kink-aware doctor if you have health conditions. Scene basics are on playing safer.
Stop and call your local emergency number if
there's heavy bleeding or bleeding that won't stop, severe or sudden pain, chest pain, fainting or confusion, a fever after play, or swelling, cold or dark-coloured skin that doesn't recover once gear comes off. Tell responders exactly what happened.
fisting
- Go slow. It takes time, relaxation and a lot of lube. Never force, and stop at sharp pain.
- Nails short and filed smooth, rings and watches off. Gloves protect both of you and make things smoother.
- Hepatitis C spreads through tiny amounts of blood. Use a fresh glove for each partner, and a separate lube tub or pump for each person. Don't double-dip into a shared tub. Test for hep C regularly if you fist with more than one partner; see sexual health.
- Oil-based lubes (like Crisco) break down latex condoms and gloves. Use nitrile gloves, or a water- or silicone-based lube.
- Avoid numbing creams and poppers-only "push-through". Pain is the warning sign that keeps you from tearing.
- Afterwards: a little spotting can happen. Heavy bleeding, severe belly pain, fever or feeling faint are emergencies.
watersports
- Urine isn't sterile, but on healthy skin it's low risk. Keep it out of eyes and away from cuts and broken skin.
- Drinking it carries some risk of passing on infections, including some STIs like gonorrhoea and chlamydia. Avoid it if either of you has a urine or kidney infection or is unwell.
- Medication and drugs pass into urine. Agree beforehand, and don't drink someone's urine if they've taken drugs.
- Hydrate, and protect mattresses with a waterproof sheet. Wash skin and gear the same day.
chastity
- Fit matters most. The ring should be snug but not tight. Swelling, dark colour, coldness or numbness mean it's too tight: take it off.
- Start short, a few hours at a time, and build up over weeks before trying overnight or long wear.
- Keep an emergency key or release where the wearer can reach it, even in a strict lock-up. Doctors and paramedics may need it off quickly.
- Clean daily and check the skin for rubbing, sores or rash. Medical-grade steel, titanium or body-safe resin are easier to keep clean than cheap plastic.
- Plan for real life: airport scanners, gym showers and medical appointments.
electro
- Nothing above the waist. Current across the chest can affect the heart. Keep both pads below the waist, on the same side of the body.
- For pads and probes, only use battery-powered units made for erotic electrostimulation or TENS, never anything homemade. Violet wands are a separate, purpose-built device; follow the maker's instructions.
- Don't do electro if anyone involved has a pacemaker or heart condition, is pregnant, or has epilepsy.
- Start at zero and turn up slowly. Turn the unit off before moving pads.
- Violet wands make sparks. Keep them away from alcohol-based products and flammable lube, and away from eyes.
sounding
- Use sounds made for it: smooth surgical stainless steel or medical silicone. Never household objects.
- Everything sterile: wash hands, sterilise the sound, and use sterile lube (single-use sachets are best).
- Let gravity do the work. Never push or force, and start with a size that slides in easily.
- Afterwards, drink water and pee. A little stinging can happen. Burning, cloudy or bloody urine, fever or not being able to pee need a doctor; these can be signs of infection or injury.
cbt (cock & ball torture)
- Cock rings and ball stretchers: limit wear to about 20 to 30 minutes at first. Choose ones you can open quickly (snap or adjustable), not solid metal rings that can get stuck.
- Impact and squeezing: start gentle. The testicles are very sensitive and can be badly hurt.
- Sudden severe pain in a testicle, swelling, or pain with nausea can be testicular torsion, a twisted blood supply. That's an emergency: go to hospital straight away.
- Stuck ring: if a ring won't come off and things are swelling, go to A&E. Don't wait; they have tools for exactly this.
