Boi is a term used in lesbian, queer, and BDSM communities to describe someone—often masculine-presenting, a feminized male submissive, or nonbinary—who embodies a youthful, soft, or androgynous form of masculinity. The spelling with an “i” distinguishes it from boy, signaling a more fluid, queer, or subversive expression of gender.
Community Variations of Boi
Because boi spans multiple queer and kink cultures, it carries different meanings depending on context.
Non-binary and Genderqueer Communities
- Many NB and genderfluid people use boi to mean:Masculine, but not male.
- Boyish, soft, or androgynous masculinity.
- A queer identity that doesn’t align with traditional “manhood.”
Butch/Femme & Lesbian Communities
Boi has long been used to describe:
- A younger butch.
- A boyish lesbian.
- A genderqueer or masculine-presenting lesbian or queer woman.
This usage is not inherently submissive.
Gay Male, Leather, and Kink Communities
In these spaces, boi can refer to:
- A submissive man.
- A twinky or boyish bottom.
- Someone who presents a youthful or soft-edged masculinity.
- A kink role adjacent to “boy,” but queerer and more fluid.
Origins of the Term
While “boi” is widely used today across many genders, races, and queer identities, the term does have important origins in queer communities of color, particularly among masculine-presenting women of color.
